Harry Potter: the Musical
by ice-connoisseur
Summary: The foot tapping, hand clapping Musical thats been taking North Wales by storm! Just as it says in the title, some old favourites rewritten in honour of everyones favourite wizard! Not a songfic. Contains Slytherin Idiot and other classics. Complete.
1. Don't You Want Me

Seasons Greetings! Hey folks! This is coming to you straight from Kates Master Inc! (i.e., Kates Master and Kates Masters Sister!) We've had this going on for sometime, its very odd and random, but we found it hysterical to write, and hope you enjoy it!

So, here we go!

Coming soon, to a computer screen near you!

**_Harry Potter: The Musical!_**

This foot tapping, hand clapping, roof rising musical has been entertaining people from schools across Flintshire, North Wales. Join in with such classics as "Don't you want me", "Be our guest", "Year 3000","Girls just wanna have fun", "Master of the House", "Where is love" and "The End Of The World", as well as many others, all rewritten especially for this amazing new production.

"Outstanding" Says Holly Blomfield, of Lloc, North. Wales.

"Absolutely Hysterical." Agrees her brother, Joe.

"Weird." Adds their brother Tom.

"Had me laughing for hours." Says Kate Challinor, of Mynned Isa, North Wales.

"A thing of legend." Reports Sarah Walker, of Brynford, North Wales

"I swear I don't know these people." Says her brother, Chris.

So come on in and join in the fun!

Dum da la dum! Da la da da DAAAAAAAAA!

(In deep American accent) Kates Master Inc proudly present:

**Harry Potter; The Musical!**

(Lyrics half made up, half copied from other, much more well known people. Choreography courtesy of Kates Master Inc.)

Scene one, act one: The Gryfinndor common room. Full of students in wizard robes. **The Marauders** on stage left, **Lily** and **friends** on stage right. **James** crosses stage.

**James**: Hey, Evans! (Shouted above the general noise and turmoil of the Common Room)

**Lily**: What do you want, Potter? (In a tone of one wearily resigning herself for a rather unpleasant conversation.)

**James**: Want to go to Hogsmeade with me next week?

(Drumbeats start in back ground. **Sirius** is sitting at full size drum kit.)

**Lily**: Potter, when will you get it through you're thick head that I don't want you?"

(**Remus** starts playing keyboard. James looks heart broken, quickly brightens, spins round, grabs microphone off **Peter** and to the tune of Human Leagues, Don't You Want Me Baby, sings:)

**James**: You were working as a teachers pet at Hogwarts School When I met you.  
I picked you out, I chose you as the one for me  
I could turn you into someone new  
Now five years later on you've got the school at your feet  
Success has been so easy for you  
But don't forget it's me who needs you the most You don't know what you're doing to me

Don't, don't you want me?  
You know I can't believe it when you say that you won't see me  
Don't, don't you want me?  
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me  
It's not too late to find  
You could still change your mind  
You'd better change it quick or we will both be sorry

**Marauders & James**: Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh  
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh…

(**Friend** of **Lily** hands her a mike, and she sings:)

**Lily**: I was working as a teachers pet at Hogwarts School?  
That isn't true  
Even then I knew I could be something else  
Either with or without you  
The five years we've had have been such good times  
Still I don't love you  
And now I think its time you called it a day I guess it's just what you must do

**Marauders & James**: Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh  
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me oh?

(**Lily** raises an eyebrow, flicks back strand of hair and exits. **James**, looking downcast, returns to **The Marauders.** Lights down.)

* * *

There we go folks, first chapter! Next one set two years later. Staring **The Marauders**! Update next Saturday! And then once a week, every Saturday, after that! 


	2. Theres Something There

Sorry, this is a day late, we were at a New Years Eve party last night! And can someone PLEASE REVIEW! Even if you don't like it, we accept constructive criticism! We're feeling lonely over here!

* * *

Small boy runs across stage holding sign, reading "Two Years Later" (ie, Lily and James 7th year).

**Lily** is standing stage left, watching **James** helping a first year learn to ride a broom. Unbeknownst to her, **The Marauders** are watching her watching him.

Lily starts to sing, to the tune of "There's Something There" from "Beauty and The Beast."

**Lily**: There's something sweet  
And almost kind  
But he was mean and he was coarse and a bully  
But now he's dear, and so unsure  
I wonder why I didn't see it there before

**James**: She glanced this way  
I thought I saw  
And when we touched she didn't shudder at my hand  
No it can't be, I'll just ignore  
But then she's never looked at me that way before

**Lily**: New and a bit alarming  
Who'd have ever thought that this could be?  
True that he's no Prince Charming  
But there's something in him that I simply didn't see

(**First year** moves off beaming. **Lily **approaches **James**.)

**Remus**: Well, who'd have thought?

**Sirius**: Well, oh my god!

**Peter**: Well, who'd have known?

**Sirius**: Well, oh my god!

**Remus**: And who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?

**Sirius**: It's so peculiar. Wait and see

**Remus **and** Peter**, at same time as **Sirius**: We'll wait and see

**All three**: A few days more,  
There may be something there that wasn't there before.

**Peter **(spoken): Perhaps there's something there  
(sung) That wasn't there before

**First Year**: What?

**Sirius**, looking reproachfully at him: There may be something there that wasn't there before.

**James** says something unheard, and **Lily** smiles. He moves towards her, and lights fade to blackout.

* * *

Awww, bless 'em. Next chapter, that fateful Halloween. It's time for Sirius to get a solo! 


	3. Don't Go Breaking My Heart

Heya, you lucky people! Now, cos last week we promised you Sirius's solo your getting two songs tonight, cos we forgot about this one! You lucky lucky people, this is dedicated to all those who have reviewed this week! Cos we love you! And the rest of you, REVIEW! If we get, say…15 reviews for this chapter and the next one, we'll give you a special treat next week-end! And Emma'll send you all brownies! Lucky people! NOW REVIEW!

* * *

_Lights up on Great Hall. James has just succesfully asked Lily out, and the two are standing together centre stage. Sirius, Remus and Peter are standing on tables behind them, sharing one microphone._

(**Sirius, Remus and Peter**: Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't go breaking my.)

**Lily**: _(Shaking finger at James)_ Don't go breaking my heart  
**James**: _(Holding up hands defensively)_ I couldn't if I tried  
**Lily**: Oh, honey if I get restless  
**James**: Baby you're not that kind

**Lily**: Woo Hoo  
**James**: Nobody knows it  
**Lily**: When I was down  
**James**: I was your clown  
**Both**: Woo Hoo  
**James**: Nobody knows it  
**Lily**: Nobody knows  
**James**: Right from the start  
I gave you my heart  
Oh Ho I gave you my heart

**Lily**: So don't go breaking my heart  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart

**James**: And nobody told us  
**Lily**: Cause nobody showed us  
**James**: And now it's up to us babe  
**Lily**: Woah I think we can make it

**Lily**: So don't misunderstand me  
You put the light in my life  
**James**: Oh you put the spark to the flame  
I've got your heart in my sights

**Lily**: Woo Hoo  
**James**: Nobody knows it  
**Lily**: When I was down  
**James**: I was your clown  
**Both**: Woo Hoo  
Nobody knows it  
Nobody knows  
**James**: Right from the start  
I gave you my heart **Lily**: So don't go breaking my heart  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart

**Lily**: Woo Hoo  
**James**: Nobody knows it  
**Lily**: When I was down  
**James**: I was your clown  
**Both**: Woo Hoo  
Nobody knows it  
Nobody knows  
**James**: Right from the start  
I gave you my heart

_(All start to move downstage, **Sirius, Remus and Peter** still on table, dancing)_  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
(**Sirius, Remus, Peter**: Don't go breaking my, don't go breaking my)  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart  
(**Sirius, Remus, Peter**: Don't go breaking my, don't go breaking my)  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart  
(**Sirius, Remus, Peter**: Don't go breaking my)  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart  
(**Sirius, Remus, Peter**: Don't go breaking my)  
**James**: I won't go breaking your heart  
**Lily**: Don't go breaking my heart  
(**Sirius, Remus, Peter**: Don't go breaking my)

**Both**: I won't go breaking your heart

_All strike dramatic pose – Remus and Peter drop to their knees either side of Sirius who has both fists in the air. James kisses Lily. Blackout.

* * *

_

And cos we love you, there's another chapter for you as well!


	4. Tell Me its Not True

The much awaited Sirius's solo! We know this song isn't as well known as the other two, especially by you Americans. Its from the musical Blood Brothers, which is brilliant!

For Holly, who cried when this was sung. Twas so sad!

* * *

_**Sirius** stands in the midst of the Potters ruined house, looking about him horrified._

(Marauders and Co are The Marauders, Lily and Lily's friends!)

**Sirius**: Tell me it's not true

Say it's just a story

Something on the news

Tell me it's not true

Though it's here before me

Say it's just a dream

Say it's just a scene

From an old prank of years ago

From an old prank of the Marauders, and Co.

Say it's just some friends

Two pranksters in the limelight

And bring the teachers down

Say it's just two friends

Who couldn't get their plans right.

Say it's just a game

On a Saturday.

That we can stop playing, and live again

That we can stop playing; it's only a game.

_Lights up on **Lupin**, reading a letter. He crumples it up and throws it to the floor._

**Remus**: Tell me it's not true

Say I only dreamed it

And morning will come soon

(To the letter) Say you didn't mean it

Tell me it's not true.

Say it's just pretend

Say it's just the end

Of an old prank from long ago

Of an old prank with the Marauders, and Co

**Both**: Tell me it's not true

Say it hasn't happened

Say it's just pretend

Say it's not the end

Of an old friendship from long ago

Of the old friendship of the Marauders, and Co…

_Remus sits and puts head into his hands. Sirius looks about him once more, clenches his fist and leaves the stage. Blackout.

* * *

_

Sob, Sob! Anyways, next chapter….another Blood Brothers song! But its very short, so….if your all nice and review we might just update two on one night! But only if we get over 10 reviews! And we're aiming for 15 for both these chapters together! In which case next Saturday you'll get a rat hunt and Harry's solo! And we'll have hit the start of Philosophers Stone! So stay tuned! AND REVIEW! (we don't mind if the same person reviews both the chapters updated tonight, that counts as two on our total!)


	5. Mad Man

Unfortunately, we didn't receive 10 reviews, we got 5. If you had reviewed BOTH chapters, then we would update 2 chapters tonight. But, you didn't so, we're only updating 1. So bbblllllleeerrrr pulls tongue.

_I (Beth) have decided that in the authors notes I will write in this very nice italic font, or whatever you want to call it._ **I, Emma, shall write in this more masculine bold, type. This is so you know who is typing what. **And when we type together it will just be, well, normal. Like it is now. So, thanks to all of you who reviewed, as for the rest of you, CLICK THE PURPLE BUTTON! JUST A FEW WORDS! WE BEG OF YOU!

We have also realised we've not been doing disclaimers, and as we don't want to be sued:

**Disclaimer** – We do not own HP, or any of the songs we are…ahem…modifying. We are making no profit whatsoever from our ventures. If we were, we would be living our dream of turning this into an award winning film! So please don't sue, cos even though Emma works, we have no money, and we don't what to have to sell our Star Wars Trivial Pursuit that we got for Christmas, cos its great!

**And I win every time we play!

* * *

**

**Peter **is running madly round the stage; while **Lily**, **James** and **other people killed by Voldemort** sing:

There's a man gone mad in the town tonight

And he's gonna shot Peter down.

There's a man gone mad, lost his friends tonight….

There's a mad man

There's a mad man

There's a mad man running round and round.

Now you now that he has got your number

He's running right behind you

He's running right beside you

He's screaming deep inside you

And someone said he's calling your number up today

There's a mad man

There's a mad man

There's a mad man running round and round.

Now you know that he has got your number

He's running right beside you

He's screaming deep inside you

And some said he's calling your number up today

(echoed) Today today today today!

Enter **Sirius** waving wand madly. All freeze, load shout, then blackout.

* * *

_Now Emma, I think it's about time we brought Harry into this Musical. Don't you?_

**Well, since its called Hary Potter; The Musical, that might be a good idea! So, everyone, next chapter – Harry performing an old Oliver favourite!**

_Very good. He shall perform wonderfully._

Oh, we almost forgot – the 10 review challenge now stands every week – if we ever get 10 reviews or moe for a chapter, the following Saturday we will update two chapters instead of just one! So get reviewing!


	6. Where is Love?

At last, people, we have hit the Philosophers Stone! Well, sort of…this takes place between chapters one and two, when Harry is about 8/9. For all you Oliver fans out there! Beth's out at the moment, so its just me on me bill! Hope you all enjoy…I'm afraid we're still 3 reviews short of 10for the last chapter, so only one update! But the challenge still stands! Tell all your friends! Review Replies coming out shortly if you've not already received them!

Disclaimer – We don't own Harry, or the song Where is Love. In fact, we don't own all that much at all. Please don't sue us, we're poor little welsh girls, and its raining.

Dedication – For Mary, who sings this beautifully, and got distinction with it in her singing exam. Go you!

(Note – it would be wrong for us to claim that we thought of all these songs ourselves. Any we had help with will be dedicated to the person who helped us. Or, if the song has particular meaning to someone, we'll dedicate it to them!)

* * *

Small boy runs back across stage, holding sign. "Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone."

* * *

**Harry **is sitting alone on bed. Most of stage in blackout, single spot light focused on him.

**Harry**: Where is love?  
Does it fall from skies above?  
Is it riding on the motorbike

That I've been dreaming of?  
Where are they?  
Who I close my eyes to see?  
Will I ever know the sweet "hello"  
That's only meant for me?  
Who can say where they may hide?  
Must I travel far and wide?  
'Til I am bedside the someone who  
I can mean something to ...  
Where...?  
Where is love?

Who can say where...she may hide?  
Must I travel...far and wide?  
'Til I am beside...the someone who  
I can mean...something to...  
Where?  
Where is love?

**Harry** starts to cry. Load voice off stage, i.e. **Vernon Dursley**. "BOY!"

* * *

Review people! Next chapter…the wonderful Argoed School Choir perform that famous Scottish(?) Tune! 


	7. Hogwarts School

_Hi all! Well, we didn't get enough reviews this week soooooooooooo, you only get one chapter! Oh, and I'm not letting Emma write anything cos she did it all last week when I wasn't here. Emma is now v.cross with me._

* * *

Scene change. Little boy runs across stage with sign saying "5 years later"

Hut on Rock. **Hagrid** enters, suits next to **Harry** on couch. Hands over letter. **Harry **looks up at **Hagrid**, confused.**Hagrid** starts to sing, to tune of Scarbough Fair:

You are going to Hogwarts school.

Potions, Charms, and History of Magic

Remember me, for I do work there

And you shall be a pupil there.

(Walk across stage. Lights up on Diagon Alley. **Harry** gazes round in wonder, while **Hagrid** sings, gesturing heavily.)

Go to Ollivanders, for a wand

Potions, Charms, and History of Magic

Between the sweet shop and the bank

Soon you will be a pupil there

Madame Malkin will make you some robes

Potions Charms, and History of Magic

Without a seam, or needle work

You are nearly a pupil there.

When you have done, and finished your shop

Potions Charms, and History of Magic

Go to platform nine and three quarters

Then you'll be a pupil there.

* * *

_Same applies as has done for the past couple of weeks, we get 10 reviews, we'll update 2 chapters. Next time: Aboard The Hogwarts Express! Oh, and go read Harry Potter and the Beacons of Red Light, by our very good friend Emmas Padewon. It's a really good story, honestly! _


	8. The Hogwarts Express

Heya peeps! Thanks all you marvellous reviewers, but we're still falling short of our 10 mark! COME ON PEOPLE! This is to the tune of the kid's nursery rhyme, Runaway train! NOW REVIEW!

* * *

**Harry** is sitting on railway seat. **Ron** sits opposite. Both look out of windows.

**Choir **(Hugging their toads) : The Hogwarts Express came down the track and she blew, she blew  
The Hogwarts Express came down the track and she blew, she blew  
The Hogwarts Express came down the track, her whistle wide and her throttle back,  
And she blew, blew, blew, blew, blew.

The trolley came and they bought some food and they ate, they ate The trolley came and they bought some food and they ate, they ate  
The trolley came and they bought some food – but not Ron's sandwiches, they were yuck,  
And they ate, ate, ate, ate, ate.

Neville came, and he'd lost his toad, poor Trevor, poor Trevor  
Neville came, and he'd lost his toad, poor Trevor, poor Trevor  
Neville said he'd lost his toad – Hermione came and got up Ron's nose But the toad, toad, toad, toad, toad.

Malfoy came and they nearly fought, but they didn't, they didn't Malfoy came and they nearly fought, but they didn't, they didn't Malfoy came and tried to fight – Scabbers bite Goyle on the right On the right, right, right, right hand!

Hermione said they were nearly there, and they were, they were Hermione said they were nearly there, and they were, they were  
Hermione said they were nearly there, she nearly saw them all in their underwear  
Their under, under ware

The conductor said they were nearly there, and they were. The conductor said they were nearly there, and they were. The conductor said they were nearly there, so get something on over that underwear  
That under, underwear

The Hogwarts Express came round the track and she blew, she blew  
The Hogwarts Express Came round the track and she blew, she blew  
The Hogwarts Express came round the track and there was Hagrid, wearing a mack! A great flapping ugly mack! (Ba dum ba dum dady dum!)

* * *

There we go! Next week……the sorting hat sings! Complete with my (Emma's) trombone solo that I play on the baritone! And wish us both luck in the solos and quartets contest next saturday too! NOW REVIEW! 


	9. I'm a Sorter!

Ok, we're REALLY REALLY SORRY! This is a late update we know, but we have an excuse! It was Emma's best friends birthday party on Saturday night (Happy Birthday Hol!), it was a karaoke, and Emma sang YMCA, Video Killed the Radio Star and Material girl, and Beth was just a wimp and wouldn't sing at all (Beth: Hey! I resent that! It's not my fault I don't want to humiliate myself in front of people unlike certain sisters I know…). We were at a brass band contest all day (which was funny, cos we were against our selves! But was very pooy when I (Beth) thought my quintet had won, and we went up and got the shieldly thingy and all, but then the other day, we found out that Emma's quintet had won! How unfair is that!) And then Sunday was just…. chaotic! (Beth: Why was Sunday chaotic? You know, I think that something wrong with me…) so we apologise, and beg you to be nice and leave lots of reviews!

* * *

**The Great Hall. Magonagall** places the hat centre stage and goes to seat at teachers table (centre stage back) **First years** gather infront of hat, house tables assembled two on stage right, two on stage left.

**Teachers**: Some think magic is only true in fairytales

Meant for someone else but not for them

But here we teach you better

How to control your gifts

You can learn things beyond your wildest dreams…

**Sorting Hat:** I'm the Sorter!

I find you a house!

Put me on

And I see your mind

You are all wizards…oooo…..or you are witches

You can do anything if you try

I might try to put you in Ravenclaw

Or you might be a Hufflepuff

Maybe sly Slytherin

Or noble Gryfinndor

Put me on and find the answer now….

(**Harry** moves forward and sits on stool)

**Sorting Hat**: You thought magic was only true in fairy tales

Meant for someone else but not for you

They were out to get you

That's the way it seemed

The Dursleys hunted all your dreams

Then you saw Hagrid!

Now you're a believer

Not a trace

Of doubt in your mind

I'll put you in…ooooo….If your in Slytherin

You could do anything if you tried

* * *

And now we have really really bad news! Next week is half term for us Welsh-ies, so we're on holiday from this Friday to a week on Sunday! Therefore the next update won't be until a week on Sunday! We're sorry, but we don't have an internet down where we're going (Wowee! Devon's great!)! However, we plan on doing a lot of writing…. maybe finishing PS…. and if we manage that, then we'll start updating more frequently! See you a week on Sunday!

Next time...Harry objects to being a "Slytherin Idiot"...calling all greenday fans!


	10. Slytherin Idiot

Ok, ok, I know! We're a day late! But we have an excuse….we had this all typed up and ready, and Beth was just adding a few comments….and she left it up on the computer….and we came back and it had all gone! Then Kate was here, so this is first chance I've got to type up properly what we did by hand while we were away in sunny Devon! Where it rained! We had a great time though, even though Beth got high every night, and starting singing I'm walking in the air…..but we wont go into that….

So without further ado, we present……SLYTHERIN IDIOT!

Note – There are a couple of rather random lines in this….full explanation at the bottom of the page.

* * *

**Harry** rips hat off head. **Filch** starts drumming, **Dumbledore** grabs guitar and shades.

**Harry**: Don't wanna be a Slytherin idiot.  
Don't want a House that hates the rest of us  
And can you hear the sound their evilness  
The subliminal mind of a Slytherin.

**Hat**: Soon there'll be a new kind of tension.  
All across the wizarding nation.  
Everything wont always be okay.  
Dumbledore has dreams of tomorrow.  
You must choose the one you will follow.  
For that's enough to argue.

**Harry**: Well maybe I'm almost a Slytherin.  
I'm not a part of a Serpents agenda.  
Now everybody do the Macarena  
Just like Jenny, Steph and Natasha

**Hat**: Soon there'll be a new kind of tension.  
All across the wizarding nation.  
Everything won't always be okay.  
Dumbledore has dreams of tomorrow.  
You must choose the one you will follow.  
For that's enough to argue.

**Dumbledore** does guitar solo, complete with shades and Billy-Jo tie

**Harry**: Don't wanna be an Slytherin idiot.  
One house controlled by a vampire.  
Slytherin causes mindless hysteria.  
Other houses are much nice-ia

**Hat**: Soon there'll be a new kind of tension.  
All across the wizarding nation.  
Everything wont always be okay.  
Dumbledore has dreams of tomorrow.  
You must choose the one you will follow.  
For that's enough to argue.

* * *

Ok, your probably all wondering (apart from Kate, Tash, Jenny and Steph) who Jenny, Steph and Tash are. They are our inane Guernsey-ian friends, from….wait for it….Guernsey! As for the bit about the Macarena, well, at Tash and Jenny's work Christmas party the Macarena came on and they started dancing it, and the DJ said "anyone not know what to do, follow those girls there!" Or something like that. And we stuck Steph in to, as she is planning to take over the world, so it helps to stay on her good side. Waves

So there you have it! Oh, and everyone go read Tash's story, Beginning of the end. Just do an author search for Mei1105, and you'll find her. Its great! There's a sequel in the works too….nudges Tash. Hard

Next week…..Harry finally finds a place he feels like he belongs…..

Reminder – 10 reviews for 2 chapters!


	11. I Will Survive

Ok, ok, I know, we lied! In our defence, we were planning to have "go the Distance" as this chapter, but having reviewed it, we decided to save it, as it fits in much better later on. So we skipped it, which doesn't really matter cos both this song and Go the Distance were planned for the first week at Hogwarts anyway. So we apologise, and hope you enjoy this as much as we did! Tis one of our favourites!

* * *

The dungeons – two rows of seats either side of the stage with a central corridor. A door back stage centre is flung open, and **Snape** strides in. He grabs a mike, spins round and starts to sing:

At first I was afraid - I was petrified  
Kept thinking how I could teach someone I can't abide  
But I spent so many nights thinking how his dad did me wrong  
I grew strong  
I learned how to take him on  
and just like back in Marauder years  
When I walked the corridors, facing the students leers  
I wish I'd exchanged my stupid job  
Or forgotten the debt I owe  
If I had known for just one second he'd come here to bother me

_**The Students** enter, filing into the seats. **Snape** stalks over the where **Harry** and **Ron** are sitting and jabs **Harry** in the chest._

Go on now go!  
Get on that broom  
Just fly away now  
'cause you're not welcome, Harry - o  
You may be the one who defeated the dark lord  
But I don't trust you  
You're just like your father was

_**Snape** begins to move about stage, randomly jabbing in the air to emphasize his words._

Oh no, not I  
Now I teach potions  
as long as I know how to intimidate I know I'll stay alive  
I've got all my life to live  
Now I've House points to play with  
And I'll survive  
I will survive...

_**Snape** turns back to **Harry**._

It takes all the strength I have not strike you down  
Keep trying hard to calm the madness of my grudging heart  
And I spend oh so many nights thinking how he saved my life,  
I used to cry  
Now I hold my head up high

_**Dumbledore** randomly appears in doorway, much like dear Mr Malloy. **Snape** moves over to him and starts poking him instead._

I will repay  
this debt I owe  
By saving mini-Potter from that thing on Quirrils head  
So you've sent Potter's son and expected there to be glee  
I'll save his life and then I can detest the memory!

_**Dumbledore** leaves again, **Snape** moves across stage, seemingly mad._

Oh no, not I  
Now I teach potions  
I'm all grown up now but I still can't wash my hair  
I've got all my life to learn  
I might even get a perm  
And I'll get it dyed  
I'll get it dyed! _(This now getting very random)_

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart _(so I'll get back on track)_  
I kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my shattered pride  
and I spent oh so many nights  
just feeling sorry for myself  
I used to cry

_**Snape** turns to **Harry** for the final time_.

Now I hold my head up high  
and you see me  
somebody new  
I'm not that chained up little person  
Your dad and friends bullied  
and so you felt like dropping in  
You don't know what they did  
now I'm thrusting all my hatred  
At someone whose hating me!

_**Snape** strikes dramatic pose centre stage, legs apart, fist in air etc. **The Students **gaze in shock and fear. Someone begins to back slowly out the door. Blackout.

* * *

_

So there you have it! An explanation for the random comment about Mr Malloy – well, last September, our school was graced with a new Headmaster to replace the lovely Mrs Brown who has moved on to a better place….Towyn High School. Anyway, he is a very odd person who looks like a wardrobe and stalks the corridors during lessons, randomly coming in to "check everything's alright", that "everybody's working hard", and to flirt with the teacher if she's female. A very odd man. He also has an obsession with PowerPoint presentations….just don't ask.

Anyways, come on people, REVIEW! Next week…Harry believes he can fly!


	12. I Believe I Can Fly!

Greetings! We update! We have just finished a very funny video conversation with Jenny, Tash and Steph…darn the snow, it meant Kate couldn't come! We will have to do it again, soon! With Kate and us in the same house! And a microphone!

Dedicated to, um, who gets this one….I know! The chickens! Cos they fly!

(To I believe I Can Fly (duh!))

* * *

The stage is clear except for a row of brooms. A bell sounds and **the Students** walk on, followed by **Madam Hooch**. **Harry** looks around him in pure happiness, and steps forward. 

**Harry**: I used to think that I could not go on  
And life was nothing but an awful song  
But now I know the meaning of happiness  
I'm learning in the most amazing school!

_**Madam Hooch** blows a whistle, and **the** **Students** line up behind their brooms_

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

_**Madam Hooch** holds out hand, and a broom jumps into her hand. **Harry** watches in rapture._

I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me running through that open door  
I believe I can fly  
I believe I can fly  
(Oh) I believe I can fly

_**Harry** is watching **Madam Hooch** carefully, when **Neville** rises off the ground (supported by wires from the flies). He goes up and up, and disappears into the flies. A few moments later, a stuffed dummy look-a-like comes crashing back down and lands off stage. There is a sickening crack.  
_  
See I was on the verge of working it out  
Then Neville fell and his arm cracked loud  
There are miracles in life I must achieve  
I shout up and my broom leaps to me

_**Malfoy** and **Harry** both leap onto brooms and disappear into the flies in the same style as **Neville**. A small red dot is seen a few moments later, followed by a Harry-Dummy._

If I can see it, then I can do it  
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly  
I believe I can touch the sky  
I think about it every night and day  
Spread my wings and fly away  
I believe I can soar  
I see me flying through that closed window  
I believe I can catch  
I believe I can catch  
(Oh) I believe I can fly

_The Harry-Dummy flies towards a window painted on the backdrop, brakes, and rises upwards and out of sight. A few moments later the real Harry swoops back down from the flies. Enter a very angry looking **MacGonagall**.

* * *

_

And, because, at long last, we have 10 reviews, you get 2 chapters! Yeyness! Another 10 reviews this week and you get 2 again next week!


	13. A Three Headed Dog in the School

2 of 2!

Dedicated to Jo Moorhead, who sung this in Back to the Eighties two years ago, and all the rest of the cast and crew who made it the best show we ever did!

Emma, you sound like you're maing a speach at the end of a play.

(To the tune of Totoal Eclipse of the Heart)

* * *

**Neville**: Turnaround,  
**Hermione**: every now and then I get a little bit annoyed, because you're getting me in trouble  
**Neville**: Turnaround,  
**Ron**: Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of your voice  
**Neville**: Turnaround,  
**Harry**: Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that I'm gonna get expelled  
**Neville**: Turnaround,  
**The Trio**: Every now and then I get a little bit croos at you, but then I know that you feel the same  
**Neville**: Turnaround you three, any minute now we're getting eaten…  
Turnaround right now, there's a great big flippin' dog behind us…

And I need you three to look  
And I need you three to realise  
And if you'll only take a peek  
We're gonna be this dogs dinner!  
And we'll only be making it peckish  
Cause we'll never be enough …  
Together we could make it to Gryfindor Tower  
We might just escape it if we run right now  
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark  
but sure as eggs I know we're gonna need a head start…  
I really need you to look!  
The dog's gonna eat us now  
That dog is gonna eat us now…

Once upon a time I forgot the password  
And now I'm about to be ate  
There's nothing I can do  
cos you lot refuse to look  
Once upon a time I hoped to grow up  
But now I'm just a snack for this dog  
Nothing I can do  
a three headed dog behind us

(**Harry**, **Hermione** and **Ron** all grab guitars, drum kits, keyboards etc. for instrumental. **Neville** wonders around, pulling dramatic faces. Lots of dry ice and strobe affects.)

**Harry**, R**ron**: Once upon a time we hoped to grow up!  
But now we're only gonna get ate  
There's nothing we can do  
A three headed dog behind us  
Once upon a time we were gonna duel Malfoy  
But then he tried to get us expelled  
Nothing we can say  
Except Malfoy is a blond "git"  
**Hermione**: Once upon a time I hoped to learn loads!  
But now I'm only gonna get ate  
There's nothing I can do  
A three headed dog behind us  
Once upon a time I was trying to save points  
But I ended up almost expelled  
Nothing I can say  
Except those two are idiots.

**All four**: Once upon a time we hoped to grow up!  
But now we're only gonna get ate  
There's nothing we can do  
A three headed dog behind us  
Once upon a time we were chased by Filch  
And went in the forbidden corridor  
Nothing we can do  
There's a three headed dog behind us….

* * *

Ok you lot, you know what to do! REVIEW! 


	14. Troll Loose

Ok, at long last…this chapter is dedicated to:

**CARLY PURNELL**

For many months and years of dedicated friendship, msn conversations when they were truly needed, and generally being there. Also for several lovely hours of physic lessons, when not much physics was learnt, but hilarity always ensued….at long last, my friend, I give you the idea that sprouted from that little head of yours…enjoy!

Disclaimer – This chapter belongs to Carly Purnell, as she thought up the idea when we got hit with writers block!

To the tune of "Foot Loose"

* * *

Halloween. The four tables are set out again, full of **students** chatting. Suddenly, the great doors, centre stage back, bust open and **Quirrell** bursts in.

**Quirrell**: I'm trembling so hard

I'm falling to the floor

Ran fast, for what

_**Dumbledore** leaps to feet._

**Dumbledore**: Oh, tell me what is up

**Snape**: I've got this feeling  
That something's not right  
I'll follow Quirrell  
Or else I'll get past that dog!

**Quirrell**: There is a troll

Loose, troll loose  
Kicking your dungeon doors.  
Please, Albus  
Pull me offa my knees  
Snape, get back  
Get lost before I crack  
Grab your wands  
Everybody a troll is loose

_**Quirrell** collapses. Run about in confusion. **Snape** marches over to **Quirrells** collapsed form._

**Snape**: You're playing so cool  
Obeying every rule  
Dig way down in your head  
You're yearning, yearning for some  
Somebody to tell you  
That you are the best Death Eater  
I'm trying to tell you  
You don't want that so don't even try.  
You stupid man, you set a troll

_**Quirrell** leaps to his feet. _

**Quirrell**: Loose, troll loose  
Kicking your dungeon doors  
Oowhee, Merlin!

**Dumbledore**: Teachers find it for me

Whoa, Students  
C'mon, c'mon let's go  
Back to dormitories  
Everybody there's a troll loose

Oh oh oh oh…A troll Loose

Oh oh oh oh…A troll Loose

Oh oh oh oh…A troll Loose

Everybody there's everybody there's

Everybody there's everybody there's

Everybody there's everybody there's

Everybody there's Troll Loose!

**Students** start streaming out of the doors. **Teachers** run off stage in all directions, leaving **Quirrell** alone on stage. He pauses for a moment, then runs off, smiling cruelly. **Snape** steps out of the shadows and follows.

* * *

There you go folks, hope you enjoyed it, now review…we missed our 10 target this week! But only just! REVIEW!

Next Week….Oh well, I never was there ever, a girl so cleaver as magical Hermione Granger…..


	15. We'll Be There For You

Well, how be all you? Sorry we're it's a bit late, general havoc reigned yesterday….Sunday we watched Pirates of the Caribbean…(Mary Mother of God!)…Monday we couldn't get near the computer cos our mother was doing tax stuff…and today our schools on strike, so we take advantage of the situation and finally update!

And now Beth's being mean and won't let Emma type even though she's quicker. But that's what little sisters are there for. Now lets see….who's this one for?

Dedicated to….erm….no Emma, that's a bit stupid…well fine then….Emma wants to dedicate this chapter too the Year 5's who sang this for the year 6's (when she was in year 6) when they left.

* * *

**Hermione** is sitting in an armchair centre stage forward. An empty chair piled high with books is next to her. **Harry** and **Ron** and lying on the floor in front of her, a chess board between them. Spotlight is focused on them. All three are talking and laughing.

Flood lights begin to come up, revelling **Fred** and **George** clutching guitars. They begin playing the introduction to the Friends theme.

**Harry **and** Hermione **leap to their feet and sing: So no one told you life was gonna be this way  
Your dads a joke, you're broke, your best friends the boy who lived!  
It's like you're always stuck in second gear  
Well it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year, but

_**Ron** gazes up at them in bewilderment_

We'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
We'll be there for you  
Like no ones been there before  
We'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for us too

_**Ron** jumps up, and he and **Hermione** push a startled **Harry** into one of the armchairs._

**Hermione and Ron**: You grew up with the worst muggle family  
You cooked the breakfast and you cleaned up after too  
You thought life would always be days like those  
But we're here beside you to pull you off of your knees, when you need us most, cos

We'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
We'll be there for you  
Like no ones been there before  
We'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for us too

**Hermione **_(moving slightly to the left and turning away.)_: No one ever tried to know me  
**Harry **_(moving to the right and turning away)_: No one could ever see me  
**Ron **_(moving forward and facing the audience)_: Since we beat the troll, we've all got a friend to play with

_**Harry** and **Hermione** move forward too._

**All**: Someone to face the day with, make it through all the rest with  
Someone I'll always laugh with  
Even at my worst, I'm best with you, Yeah!

_Instrumental – **Fred** and **George** go mad on guitars etc…_

It's like we're always stuck in second gear  
When it hasn't been our day, our week, our month, or even our year

We'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
We'll be there for you  
Like no ones been there before  
We'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for us too

We'll be there for you  
When the rain starts to pour  
We'll be there for you  
Like no ones been there before  
We'll be there for you  
'Cause you're there for us too

Lights fade as **Harry**, **Ron** and **Hermione** return to their previous activities. Final spot on the trio, then blackout.

* * *

So there you have it! I know we promised Mr Mastofolies this week, but a second look showed us it didn't really work, whereas this did, so there you go! Wish us luck for another brass band contest next Saturday! Update Saturday night!

And for you dirty minds, these are 11 year olds thinking along the lines of Hide and Seek

Next time: That boy can fly! He can fly, he can fly, he can fly! He flew!


	16. We Can Fly!

Ok, ok, ok…..shield selves from angry glares and large heavy objects. We know we are very VERY late updating….but basically, this is one of the chapter we hadn't already written, and the past couple of weeks have been so hectic this is the first moment we've both been in the same place with time to do it. So we are VERY VERY sorry, and beg for forgiveness.

In the meantime, everyone go read Beth's new Doctor Who story, Doctor Who and the Beacons of Red Light. Its very very good, especially if you have also been reading Emmas Padowans story, Harry Potter and the Beacons opf Red Light. You noticing the theme yet? Just do a title search for each, cos we're too lazy to go get you the links!

Anyways, read and enjoy!

Dedicated to Kate and Hannah, for being on the receiving end of a desperate plea for the peter Pan video after we couldn't find ours! Cue one very odd MSN argument about who's video was better….its best just not to ask….

* * *

Lights up Stage Left. Quidditch changing rooms. 6 **Gryffindor players** sitting around on benches. **Oliver** strides in.

**Oliver** - Think of a wonderful thought  
A particular little thought  
Think of winning Qudditch cups

Think of parties until dawn  
We're heroes in the sky  
**All of Team** - We can fly! We can fly!  
We can fly!

_**Oliver** waves arms excitedly. **Fred and George** sigh, roll eyes at each other and turn to **Harry**_.

**Fred and George** - Think of the happiest things  
It's the same as having wings  
Take the path that Charlie took  
If you end the match and your still awake  
You've done better than Oliver  
All of team - We can fly! We can fly!  
We can fly!

_**Oliver** turns to team again._

**Oliver** - Up you go with a heigh and ho

To the stands behind the staff  
There's a Qudditch Cup waiting for me!  
And all my happy dreams will come true  
Team - Every dream that you dream will come true

_Lights up stage right – **Team** leave changing rooms and cross stage to the Stadium. Back stage right is a stand on which stand some **Gryfinndors**. They cheer as the **Team** enter the light._

**Gryfinndors** - When there's a smile in your heart  
There's no better time to start  
Think of all the joy you'll find  
When you leave the world behind  
And bid your cares good-bye  
You can fly! You can fly!  
You can fly!(etc.)

_Enter **Madam** **Hooch** and **Slytherins**. **Madam Hooch** blows whistle, and teams climb onto brooms. Whistle blows again, and blackout.

* * *

_

Update WILL BE next Saturday, we promise! Have a good Easter everyone – remember to eat lots of chocolate and get very fat!

Next week….Harry ponders on his Reflection.

Remember people, 10 REVIEWS!


	17. Reflections

Sorry! We meant to update last week, but we went out to see Journey to River Sea, and then we were busy with returning to school etc., so here it is!

We're both pretty exhausted, having spent Saturday trailing round Manchester trying new flutes (Beth. Yay!), getting haircuts (our mum) and trying on more dresses than she's ever worn in her entire life (Emma – I leave school in 3 weeks, and me mother decided I needed something other than my current dress for the ROA leaving do. We didn't find one.) Then we didn't have time to do it yesterday. So, here it is.

To the tune of "Reflection" from Mulan (the Disney one).

* * *

_Single spotlight on centre stage. A large mirror is suspended from the ceiling. Enter **Harry**, a cloak in his hand. He stands in front of the mirror._

**Harry**: Look at me,  
I may have found who I really am  
But I'll never know me  
Everyday there are things I want to know  
Now I have my cloak, the world cannot see my scar  
but I still can feel my heart

_Figures start to appear in the mirror behind **Harry's** reflection._

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me  
Why does my reflection show people I don't know?

I am now in a world where I am known by everyone  
and most people love me  
but somehow I will show the world what's beneath my scar  
and be loved for who I am

_**Harry **reaches out to touch the mirror surface_.

Who is that man I see staring straight back at me  
Why does my reflection show people I don't know?  
Why do they look like me…oh my god, could it be….  
Why does my reflection show what I want inside

There's a heart that wants someone to call mum  
That burns with a need to know the reason why  
Why did I have to live when they died, mum and dad  
Will there be a secret that I'm forced to hide  
I want to know the truth – what happened, why it did  
And why does my reflection show what I want inside  
Why does my reflection show people I can't know?

_**Dumbledore** appears behind **Harry**, and emits soulful moan.

* * *

_

And there you have it! Not our best one, but hey, we like it! Yes, can I just say (I being Beth) that Dumbledores soulful moaning was my idea.

Ooooo, wasn't Doctor Who just great! K-9! Right, well, yes.

Next week…Norbert is a magic dragon!


	18. Norbert the Magic Dragon

Hey, sorry it's a day late! We were just caught up in other stuff last night…ach well….Here it is!

Dedocated to Chris (Walker), your favourite stoner song.

To the tune of Puff the Magic dragon.

* * *

_**The Random Choir** stands stage centre back. In front of them, various characters enact out the story of Norbert the Dragon as it is sung. **Norbert** is played by a stuffed teddy dragon._

**Random choir**: Norbert, the magic dragon lived at Hogwarts  
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a place called Hagrids hut.  
Little Rubus Hagrid loved that rascal Norbert,  
And brought him frogs and smelly rats and other yucky stuff.

Norbert would bite Hagrid, right on is finger  
Harry, Ron, Hermione, they wouldn't come near,  
But Hagrid he was happy, with his little dear  
Until Malfoy crept and spied on him, and everything went wrong.

Norbert, the magic dragon lived at Hogwarts  
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a place called Hagrids Hut.  
Little Rubus Hagrid loved that rascal Norbert,  
And brought him frogs and smelly rats and other yucky stuff.

A dragon grows gigantic, too big for Hagrids Hut.  
Massive wings and fiery rings makes short work of the wood  
One grey night it happened, Charlie's mates arrived  
And Norbert the mighty dragon, disappeared into the night

His head was bent in sorrow, the tears they fell like rain,  
Hagrid no longer got to play their painful games  
Without his greatest wish, Hagrid got very sad  
But life goes on, and there's more monsters, to find in later books!

Norbert, the magic dragon lived at Hogwarts  
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a place called Hagrids hut  
Little Rubus Hagrid loved that rascal Norbert,  
And brought him frogs and smelly rats and other yucky stuff.

_Blackout_

* * *

Ok, ok, I know the stage directions weren't brilliant, but I have lots of revision to go and do! My exams start 2 weeks on Monday! Help me!

Stop complaining Emma. They're only a few exams that could change your life forever…Ok, I'll shut up now.

Oh, and everyone go to the search engine, and type in Beacons of Red Light, and then read both the stories that come up, their very very funny! Starring me, being kidnapped! (Emma)

Bye bye!

May the force/light be with you!

Next week…well, actually, I'm not sure what it is next week…it can be a surprise!


	19. Firenze the Centaur

Hello! At long last, we return! Having settled our long running dispute over the song for this chapter (hehe, I won!) I (Emma) decided it was about time we updated properly. So here it is!

Dedication - For Tash, Hannah, Kate, and anyone else who fought Beth for the rights to do Nellie the Elephant. And Yr 11's everywhere, stuck in the middle of exams. (Beth: Why do you lot feel so sorry for yourselves? They're only exams that'll affect the rest of your life! They're not that big a deal!)

To the tune of Nellie the Elephant. (It does all fit, it just depends how you sing it.)

* * *

The **Random** **Choir** are centre stage. There is a forest silhouetted behind them, with stars picked out above it. In hushed voices, the Choir sings:

In Hogwarts  
An enchanted forest lies  
There lives some intelligent creatures  
and centaurs are their name

One dark night  
Detentioned students came  
And Harry saw the unicorn  
And meet Voldy again

Oooh...  
Firenze the centaur found Harry and  
Took him out of the forest  
Off they went with a clippoty clop  
Clip clop clip

Firenze the centaur found Harry  
And trundled off to find Hagrid  
Off they went with a clippity clop  
Clip clop clip

But then Bane  
Saw and got angry  
Said Firenze was breaking the centaurs code  
Letting a human on his back

No more hints  
For Firenze to let slip  
Mars was bright, which wasn't good  
And Voldy was in the wood!

Oooh...  
Firenze the centaur found Harry and  
Took him out of the forest  
Of they went with a clippoty clop  
Clip clop clip

Firenze the centaur found Harry  
And trundled off to find Hagrid  
Off they went with a clippity clop  
Clip clop clip

Hermione and Hagrid saw Harry on Firenzes back  
They meet them both in the silver light  
On the edge of Hogwarts wood

Oooh...  
Firenze the centaur found Harry and  
Took him out of the forest  
Off they went with a clippoty clop  
Clip clop clip

Firenze the centaur found Harry  
And trundled off to find Hagrid  
Off they went with a clippity clop  
Clip clop clip

* * *

And there you have it! Next week….hang, let me find the list…next week…NO! I've lost the list…hmmm, Ill go see if Beth's got it!

Ok, next week, we're going "Through the trapdoor" and I won't tell you what song it is, cos I'm feeling evil. Well you try and do GCSE's without feeling just slightly mean!

Anyways, see ya all next week! And review! Cos we're feeling lonely!


	20. Through the Trapdoor

Well hello all! How are we all? Sorry its so late, we had the Whitford Summer fair on Saturday, which was exhausting, and then we went on a four mile walk on Sunday, half of which was up hill! But here we are! And neither of us are in school tomorrow, cos Emma's exams are all over as of today and there's a gas leak, so Beths not in either.

Dedicated to Tash – at long last, as promised, right from the very start of this idea! Enjoy!

To the tune of YMCA

* * *

Lights up stage left, on Gryfinndor common room. **Neville** is lying on the floor, surrounded by the **Random Choir.**

**Random Choir**: Neville, there's no need to feel down.  
I said, Neville, pick yourself off the ground.  
I said, Neville, 'cause you've been body bound  
There's no need to be unhappy.

Neville, there's a place they must go.  
I said, young man, where they'll face a great foe  
You can't go there, but you don't need to go  
'Cause you win us the house cup

_Lights down stage left and up stage right, on **Harry, Hermione **and** Ron** walking along a corridor._

**Random Choir**: Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
You'll find everything to test each of your strengths  
You can face up worst fears

_The **Trio** walk across stage, where lights have come up stage left again. They are in a chamber, which is empty apart from a stuffed three headed dog. (Hey, we're suffering from budget cuts here!)_

Its time to go through the trapdoor.

Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
You can play to fluffy, make him forget you are there

You can get caught in a devils snare

_**Half the Random Choir** leave the stage. Stage starts to go up as the **Trio** climb through the floor, revealing a lower chamber. **Harry** and **Ron** fall onto the Devils Snare._

**Hermione**: Ronald, there's no need to feel scared  
I said, Ronald, Harry's not got come prepared  
I said, Ronald, you and Harry've been snared  
Ron: Are you a witch or not?

_**Hermione** lights fire and **Harry** and **Ron** fall to ground. **Harry** turns to leave **Ron** and **Hermione**._

**Hermione and Ron**: No man does it all by himself.  
I said, Harry, put your pride on the shelf,  
Let us help you, catch the keys to the door.  
I'm sure we can help you some more

**Half of Random Choir**: Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
They have everything from plants to chess sets  
You can hang out with Voldemort

Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
Its time to go through the trapdoor.  
We can find the right key, we can beat the chess set  
We can beat Voldemort, I bet ...

_**One half of Random Choir** leave. Other **Half Random Choi**r come on dressed as chess pieces. One hits **Ron**, who falls to the ground._

**Harry**: 'Mione, we've got to leave Ron  
I said, 'Mione, we have got to move on.  
I say, 'Mione, he won't know we're gone  
And I can't do this on my own

_**Random choir** leave. They cross the stage again, and the lights come up on a table full of potions bottles._

**Hermione**: We've come so far, and we're very near

I say Harry, its all become clear,  
I say, Harry, I know the way out of here

You drink that and your on your way

It's time to go face Voldemort  
It's time to go face Voldemort

You must drink this potion, I don't think its poison!

But there's only one way to find out….

_**Random choir** re enter, minus chess set costumes._

**Random Choir**: But when Harry, got through the last door

He saw someone, had got there before

It weren't Snape, or even Voldemort


	21. Chambers of Fire

At long last, we return! And only three chapters left, and then we're done! Now, this chapter is a bit….different from our usual format, because we just couldn't think of a song to fit this particular scene, and it was too important to leave out. You'll be pleased to know, however, that the final two chapters have been written, and will be updated next Saturday, and then the Thursday after that, before we leave to go on Holiday.

Dedicated to – Phil Something, who is always the Dame in the pantomimes at Theatre Clwyd, and who was in a scene very similar to this one last year, and did it hysterically. And to anyone who has ever done as Emma has, and run in slow motion down the school drive…

* * *

Lights up. The mirror is centre stage, with **Harry** in front of it. **Voldemort/Quirrell** is standing to the left, watching him intently. **Harry** suddenly puts his hand to his pocket, before being pushed aside by **Voldemort/Quirrell**. "_Chariots of Fire_" starts up in the background.

**Harry** turns and begins to run in slow motion across the stage, taking exaggerated looks behind him. **Quirrell** begins to chase after him, while a voice on the surround sound is heard, also slowed down.

"Caaaaaaaaaaatch the boooooooooooy….."

**Quirrell** leaps, and lands on top of **Harry**. The pair roll about, still in slow motion, **Quirrell** screaming over the music. **Dumbledore** suddenly appears centre stage back, looking furious. As the main theme of "_Chariots of Fire_" starts up again, he lets out a roar of anger – an elongated "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", and flies across the chamber to the pair.

Blackout.

* * *

There we go. Short, sweet, and to the point...sort of. Apologises for the absence, the next two will definatly be out on time.

Next week...Harry learns about the glory of love...


	22. Glory of Love

So here we have it! The penultimate chapter! Sorry it's a bit late, we forgot on Saturday, and yesterday was Beths birthday, so we were out all day…but here it is! Better late than never!

Dedicated to Kate, 'cos she's on holiday and so we won't see her until the middle of August!

* * *

_White spot up on centre stage. **Harry** is lying in a hospital bed, **Dumbledore** on a chair beside him. They appear to be in conversation, before **Harry** turns to **Dumbledore** and begins to sing, to the tune of "Glory of Love"…_

**Harry**: Today it's very clear  
As I am lying here  
There's so many things I want to know  
Did they really love me  
Why can't Quirrell touch me?

**Dumbeldore**: Sometimes I just forget  
There's things you'll want to know  
It breaks my heart to see you crying  
I don't wanna hurt you  
But you'll never make it alone

He was a man who would fight for your mother  
They were the heroes you're dreaming of  
You've lived for longer  
Because together they  
Fought him off for glory of love

She kept him standing tall  
He helped her through it all  
You will be strong because they're with you  
You will always need them  
You could never make it alone

He was a man who would fight for your mother  
They were the heroes you're dreaming of  
You lived with Durselys  
I knew ten dark years would come  
Until Hagrid came back for you

**Harry**: Just like a knight in shining armour  
From a long time ago  
Just in time Hagrid saved my birthday  
Took me too this castle far away

_Spot comes up on **Madam Pomfry**, stage right, clutching a guitar for the instrumental solo_.

**Dumbledore**: He was a man who would fight for your mother  
They were the heroes you're dreaming of  
You've lived for longer  
Because together they  
Fought him off for glory of love  
You'll live for longer  
Knowing together that they  
Did it all for the glory of love

You lived because of love  
You lived because of love  
You lived because of love  
You lived because of love

_Lights fade to Blackout.

* * *

_

Only one chapter left folks! And that will be posted on either Wednesday or Thursday, cos we go on holiday Thursday night….so REVIEW!

Next time….they've had the time of their lives……


	23. We've Had the Time of Our Lives

And this is it. The final chapter. The last update. The ultimate instalment.

(It's "I've had the time of my life" from Dirty Dancing, in-case no-one realises.)

Dedicated to – Everyone and anyone who has read and reviewed this "story", anyone who had to put up with us randomly breaking into song in the music room at school, and especially **Kate, Hannah, Tash and Carly**, for their continual help and support.

Oh, and before we start…it has come to our attention that there are people out there who have been reading this story and not reviewing! You know who you are! This is the last chapter, and your last chance! Please!

And so, it is with great pleasure that we present: the final chapter

* * *

_Spotlight comes up on centre stage. **Harry** is standing there, alone. He looks above the audiences heads and begins to sing…_

**Harry**: Now I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt like this before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you

_The spotlight widens, to reveal **Ron** and **Hermione** standing either side of him_.

**Hermione and Ron**: 'Cause we've had the time of our lives  
And we owe it all to you

_The floods begin to come up, revealing the stage set up with the four house tables full of students, with a clear space in the middle and the teachers table at the back. **Harry** begins to move down stage towards the audience, in the middle of the cleared area._

**Harry**: I've been waiting for so long  
Now I've finally found somewhere  
That understands me

_**Hermione** runs forward and stands in front of **Harry**._

**Hermione**: I saw the writing in the books  
Which proved this magical fantasy

_**Ron** moves in front of **Hermione**_

**Ron**: Now with magic in our lives  
There's no way we can disguise it secretly

_**Neville** leaps to his feet, standing on the bench at the Gryffindorr table._

**Neville**: So we helped each other out  
'Cause they seem to understand the difficulty

_**Lee** goes one better, and jumps onto the table top._

**Lee**: Just remember

_**Fred** and **George** both join him, and all three begins dancing.  
_  
**Fred**: There's just one thing

**George**: We can't get enough of

_**Sorting Hat** appears, flying in from the ceiling_.

**Hat**: So I'll tell you something

_**Dumbledore** finally stands, and shouts to the audience._

**Dumbledore**: This could be magic cos

_The rest of the students and teachers stand, most made up of the **Random** **Choir**._

**All**: We've had the time of our lives  
No we never felt this way before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you

_**McGonagall** moves down the clear space centre stage, which is still free of students, bar the **Trio**._

**McGonagall**: With my glasses and hair  
I spied a seeker out of the air

_**Flitwick** comes forward to join her._

**Flitwick**: So you just let it go  
Don't be afraid to lose control

_**Snape** moves to the down stage right corner and glares at everyone_.

**Snape**: Yes you know what's on my mind  
When I say "See me after class."

_**Hagrid** leaps on the teachers table and bellows._

**Hagrid**: Just remember

_He lifts **Professor Sprout** in the air._

**Sprout**: There's just one thing

_**Sprout** is put down, and **Hooch** lifted up._

**Hooch**: We can't get enough of

**Flitwick**: So I'll tell you something

**All Teachers**: This must be magic 'cos

**All**: We've had the time of our lives

**Harry, Ron and Hermione**: And we've searched through most of the trapdoors

**Harry**: And I've found happiness  
and I owe it all to you  
_  
Instrumental The **Students** abandon the benches and begin to crowd onto the open space, dancing and generally causing serious bodily harm to those around them. They part into two halves, leaving **Lee, Fred** and **George** centre stage. **Hagrid** is still standing on the teachers table, but nods broadly and leaps into the waiting hands of **Lee** and **the Twins**, ala Dirty Dancing. The **Argoed Jazz Band** are bought up from under the stage, and **Kate Challinor** takes the trumpet solo while the school continues to dance._

_When the solo has finished, the lights begin to dim, the dancers slow to a sway, and the spot is once more put on the **Trio**._

**Harry**: Now I've had the time of my life  
No I never felt this way before

(**Ron** and **Hermione**: Never Felt this way)

**Harry**: Yes I swear it's the truth  
and I owe it all to you

_Lights come up to full again, and everyone continues dancing and singing._

**All**: We've had the time of our lives  
No we never felt this way before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you  
Cos We've had the time of our lives

**Harry, Ron and Hermione **(_fading_): And we've searched through most of the trapdoors

**Harry**: And I've found happiness

And I owe it all to you

**All**: We've had the time of our lives  
No we never felt this way before  
Yes I swear it's the truth  
And I owe it all to you

_Lights stay up, and the Jazz band takes the tune as the cd recording runs out. A screen begins to fall infront of the slage, and a projection runs with the credits, music still going.

* * *

_

Lyrics by…Emma and Beth Nelder  
Choreography by…Emma and Beth Nelder  
Song selection by…Assorted, mainly Emma and Beth Nelder, Kate Chaillonr, Tash Marquand, Hannah McMahon and Carly Purnell, with assorted others.  
Music by…Assorted artists

Copyright 2006 Kates Master Inc.

This was a Kates Master Inc production, bought to you thanks to the help and support of many people. We hope you enjoyed the show.

* * *

_The screen rolls up, and the **School** can be seen again. The final bars play, and everyone freezes in a triumphant pose. **Blackout**.

* * *

_

And there you have it folks! We came, we went, we did it…but not all…oh no, you're not getting rid of us that easily…puts on deep American accent…

**Harry Potter; The Musical Menace**

Coming soon, to a computer screen near you! Well, when I say soon, I mean September…we'll put an author alert up here to let you guys know….

Oh, and available via email…a selection of songs, recorded by Emma, Kate and Hannah for Beth's birthday…including Slytherin Idiot, Troll Loose, Tell Me its not True, this chapter and various others…ask if you want one, and as long as you've left your email address, you'll receive. However, we go away tomorrow, so you might not receive until the end of August.

So until September, thanks! Its been fun! Even if you've never reviewed before, but have been reading, then please just drop us a note to let us know what you thought….and we'll see you all again in September!


	24. Author Alert

Hi!!!! We be back!!!!! This is a quick note to let you all know that, if you are interested, Harry Potter; The Phantom Musical is up! As from now! So hurry over and take a little peek! And review!

Just clickage on my name, and follow the link! 'Tis on my stories list! Obviously!

Emma. (And Beth, who's off playing the piano.

Oh, and also…if you asked for recordings of the Musical but never received them, let me know…I've a feeling some of the emails bounced…


End file.
